


Regeneration

by LilFicShark



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Blowjobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Deep Throating, Empath, Empath soulmate AU, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilFicShark/pseuds/LilFicShark
Summary: Jesse's felt the boy in the back of his head since he was eleven. Felt those emotions seep into his brain like blood in the water... So how could he ever predict that someday day that would stop... that he'd lose his soulmate and somehow it would lead to him meeting another man. Another man whos similarly broken and who's head has gone as quiet as his.Empathy soulmate AU- Our boys be feeling each others emotions.





	1. Chapter 1: Transects

It was supposed to be a simple mission. A bog standard surround and seize op . Reyes and McCree to flank left, Mendoza and Collins right and O’brian to cover the rear and provide medical support. Easy stuff they’d covered in drills millions of times...But this wasn’t a drill, mistakes weren’t recorded and discussed in de-briefing, No, mistakes cost lives.

“Collins, Collins listen to me. I need you to get up.” It was Reyes voice, calm despite the shit storm going on around them. McCree risked a glance back from where he crouched behind a crate keeping watch. Collins was on the floor, curled in on himself, chest heaving in great sobs. Jesse couldn’t see a bullet wound, but Reyes was obscuring most of the man. Either way this wasn’t the Collins Jesse knew and the cowboy’s mouth pulled sideways into a grimace. The Collins he knew trekked two days on a broken foot and ‘didn’t notice’ he’d lost the first knuckle on his left pinky. It didn’t seem right to see a soldier, let alone Collins, so heavily tacked up in Blackwatch gear so vulnerable. It’s not how Jesse’s world worked. “ As your commander, I order you to get up. “

 

  _It’s bad... real bad if Reyes is pulling rank_

 

 “She’s... She’s... It hurts. They say it hurts but I never... I never thought it would hurt this much. ”The agent on the floor cries clawing at his head. Jesse’s grimace widens; he can’t watch this.  

 

Nose scrunched he returns to his watch, eyes trained on the entrance way and ears blocking out Collins’ cries. A limp body lays still in the door way no more than twenty feet away. It’s one of their own, Jesse could recognise any of the agents here in 3 foot fog with one eye. Their his team. His family. So he knows the figure is Mendoza. Light footed she’d gone ahead to scout her’s and Collins way. Hearing the shots and no answer on the Comms Reyes and Jesse had left their position to provide backup. It’s then that they had found this mess... Collins crumpling and Mendoza down. The whole thing taking no longer than quarter of an hour. The only shots being fired from the enemy. Jesse still has a full barrel and there’s no shells on the floor.

 

Jesses draw is lightning fast, working only on the slightest scuff of a shoe. It’s a miracle that he doesn’t shoot O’brian then and there. She doesn’t flinch, posture as composed as ever as she extends a single finger to push the gunslingers barrel to the floor. Jesse never did like how she could materialise out of nowhere. She was creepy enough before. Still, he’s glad she’s here. She’ll fix Collins and they can get out of there. Eyes stern he gives her an acknowledging nod and turns back to the doorway.

 

Someone should of come by now… The gun shots were loud enough and the shooter’s had enough time to call re-enforcements. Lip twitching is displeasure he turns back to his boss to suggest evac.

 

Reyes’ face is grave, brows furrowed more than usual, his mouth a flatline. He’s stopped holding Collins, moved back to let O’brian work. There’s a sickly taste in Jesse’s mouth. When the medic pulls back it worsens and when she speaks, confirming what they’ve all been thinking Jesse’s stomach clenches with distress.

 

“His Soulmate is dead, He’s going into withdrawal.” Even if her tone had been sympathetic it would never have softened the blow. This is too big. Collin’s will be useless for the rest of the mission. Shell-shocked and numb he’ll barely be able to walk let alone shoot a gun. A huge chunk of himself has been lost…

“Then it’s confirmed. Mendoza is dead and has become a priority two, Retrieval of the body is a preference but not impertinent to mission success.” Gabe’s words are cruel but true. Jesse knows it’s not what he wants to do. He knows the commander has a soft spot for each and everyone one of their platoon, but he’s got to make the logical decisions. Follow protocol. Ensure no more of their number are lost. Collins keens on the floor at the man’s feet and O’brian lays a hand on his shoulder to hush him.

“I’ll get her commander.” Jesse hears his own voice. Raspy and deeper than usual, his emotions are bleeding into his words… but he’s confident. He knows he’s the only one who’s been timing the shots. Only one who’s aware of how much time the enemy has been given to call reinforcements.

He’s also acutly aware of Reyes. The commander could ask him how long it’s been and then it’s over. He’ll realise it’s been too long and the retrieval is too risky. That the hostiles will be here soon, and they’ll have to leave Mendoza behind. Jesse won’t let that happen… he’ll be walking a thin line, but she’ll get a proper burial and Collins will get a proper funeral.

As expected Reyes eyes him and Jesse knows he knows.

_This is it..._

Seconds pass, each man staring unblinkingly as minds tick. Jesse’s eye’s are stern and pleading. Reyes’ wider, conflicted and scared. Is he going to let him?

 

_Play dumb for me commander… Let me do this for her…for them._

 

“Be quick.” Reyes growls before clicking his ear piece with a gloved hand and turning from the cowboy. Jesse can breathe again. “ Fio Are you receiving…we need Evac ASAP. Meet us at landing point Gamma.”

McCree leaves his position behind the crates at a hurried pace. His spurs making the smallest of sounds as he walks, he doesn’t like how they reveal his presence but he pushes onwards anyhow, stamping down any anxiousness. He’s done stuff like this a hundred times. He’s just spooked because mission didn’t go to plan. Still, he hugs the wall hoping the wood of the floor will muffle his steps. His route is the long one, a wide circle round the room that gives him cover should he need it. It’s a smart decision.

 

He’s three feet from Mendoza when he glances back at the crates obscuring his team. He’s relieved to see their hidden completely, the boxes of contraband providing perfect cover. At least if the shit hits the fan with him they’ll be safe. Jesse doesn’t think he could take loosing another person… he’s barely keeping it together as it is. Blackwatch has trained him well…but some situations are just fucked up.

 

Something in Jesse clenches when he sees her body properly for the first time. She’s on her back, ‘tits up’ . He feels sick again. Not because of her body…he’s seen countless bodies before. It’s more of a self loathing. Disgusted that his brain chooses such a crude, impersonal phrase to describe her. It’s a casual term. One used by Blackwatch near daily. Mostly towards hostiles but here it feels incredibly out of place... He shouldn’t be thinking shit like that.

But then again nothing feels right in this situation. None of this was supposed to happen. No one was supposed to die. None of this shit was supposed to go down.

 

 

Jesse’s seen plenty of corpses in his time, but it never ceases to stun him how different a person looks after their dead. Like their body is some kind of realistic but bootleg version of themselves. Marionettes magicked into place to save those left behind the pain of seeing he real thing. If it’s true it’s not a comforting illusion. Protocol calls for him to check her tags. Make sure it’s her body but he knows for certain it’s her. There’s no denying that this is her body. As much as his brain is telling him it isn’t. That it doesn’t feel right. 

 

 

His eyes shift to the wound as he once again tries to steel himself against his own emotions. The shot, the single shot, that downed her hit just above the left brow. The wound doesn’t even look that bad… the steady dribble from the bullet hole mostly obscured by the agent’s bulky night vision shades, the stupid bug-eyed ones she’d been so excited about getting.

 

Jesse checks the hall before fishing her body free of the doorway. A second corpse lays a metre down the corridor. The hostile she’d met, his dead body just out of view. At least Mendoza had taken the bastard with her. There would be no back up for him, Jesse’s team was in the clear.

 

As content as he could be the man hiked Mendoza up into his arms. Peachkeeper remaining in his hand, it’s barrel pressing gently into the stiff back of the dead agent’s tack vest.

 

People always say bodies are lighter once their dead. That some how when the life leaves their body it takes half their weight with them. It’s bullshit. If anything, corpses are heavier. There’s no straining of the muscle to help you carry them, no support given. They lay limp in your arms quite literally a dead weight. A few year’s prior Jesse doubted he would have the strength to carry Mendoza and the extra weight her tack added.

 

It’s time like these… the tough ones when nothing seems to be going right, that Jesse is glad of his soulmate. Glad that no matter what there’s always that soft buzz of contentment and happiness in the back of his head. His soulmate doesn’t have a utopian life but there’s definitely more happy than sad and he feels it. Like everyone does, he feels their emotions. A gentle soft aura ticking away at the back of his head. It’s what’s made him such a chipper person despite his hardships. Growing up in Deadlock had been hard, it had been bloody terrible, but it was hard to feel shit about it when he knew that the love of his life was somewhere out there and was happy. He couldn’t wait for the day they met… but he also dreaded it… because if they met it meant him dragging them into this mess. The weird shit show that was his life, that was Blackwatch.

 

Collin’s is on his feet when Jesse reaches the team with Mendoza. He’s supported heavily by the commander and O’brian, looking more and more like a ragdoll by the second.

 

“No one’s coming, she took the hostile out with her.” Jesse reports bluntly. He doesn’t receive a proper response, just steeled expressions and a curt nod from the commander. The team takes it as a cue to start moving out.

 

O’brian goes first, her lithe form leading the way towards the back door they’d broken open a mere twenty minutes prior. She leaves the commander to carry Collin’s alone, only pausing for the briefest of seconds to look over the body in Jesse’s arms, face as stoic as ever. In a moment of uncharacteristic tenderness she pulls the gunslinger’s hat from his head to lay it over Mendoza’s. The dead agents face is pale and expressionless before it’s obscured.

 

Jesse meets the medic’s gaze. They’d never really gotten along before, each feeling their own brand of distaste for the other but here, in this moment, they were family, grieving for their lost companion in unison.

 

It was going to be a long flight back to base.

 

\- ♥ - - - - - - ♥ -

 

“You talk a lot of shit for a man whose two balls down.” Fio laughs as she slings her cue over her shoulders and rests her wrists on the stick’s top. She looks like a scarecrow but Jesse makes no comment too focussed on eyeing up the bright red balls on the table in front of him.

“Fio, I can assure you I will always be two balls ahead of you.” He chuckles lining his pool cue up with the white, taking a few moments to test the sticks movement on his hand before he goes for the pot.

 

“ You’re fucking disgusting you know that.” Her voice is a half chuckle as Jesse’s shot misses, the white knocking the ball he’d been aiming for a few millimetres shy of the pocket, tantalisingly close to the edge. Jesse curses and retreats from the table to grab his own drink sitting on the side. “Any way, what’s up with you? You’re normally way better than this.”

 

It’s true. Usually, Jesse would be neck and neck with the pilot, each down to their last few balls. By Each trying to distract the other with increasingly cruder remarks, but Jesse’s only got two in the net and Fio’s just potted her second to last colour.

“Ah, the SM’s been feeling down. It’s throwing me off some.” Jesse replies truthfully as he leans against his cue, pressing the wood to his face like he’s a wizened crone with a cane. Even now, in this content environment he can’t help but feel on edge: anxiety and fear niggling at the back of his mind as his soulmate’s feelings seep into his own. It wasn’t often that his soul mate felt bad… at least not this intensely. Jesse hoped he was okay. The day they met couldn’t come soon enough… then he could help quell some of these feelings.

 

“That sucks… If it’s any consolation mine’s feeling horny.” She purrs potting her last colour by bouncing the white off the portside cushion. Jesse sighs and Fio looks up from her shot, grin falling into a smaller more comforting smile instead. “I’m sure it’s nothing. He’ll be okay. You said Sparrow’s normally a happy chappy. His sport team probably just lost or something.”

 

Jesse looks back at the other agent, she offers him a smile again and he returns it weakly. He’s touched she remembered the pet name for boy in his head. Loud, fidgety and chipper Jesse had given his soul mate the nick name when he was a child, when he’d first started to get an inkling of what the man he was fated to love was like.  “You’re probably right. Sorry… I’ll try to be less of a downer.”

 

Whatever was going on with his Sparrow Jesse couldn’t do anything and letting his emotions swamp him wouldn’t help. Well he could do something… it worked both ways after all. Jesse would have a good time and dampen some of his soulmate’s anxiety. It’s the least he could do after Sparrow’s years of support.

 

Fio’s gaze lingers on him for a moment her eyes searching his. Jesse meets her stare and content she returns to the game, teasing returning a beat later. “Good, cause I’m about to win.”

 

She flubs the shot of course, the 8 ball missing the pocket by a mile as the white rolls to the other side of the table, conveniently coming to rest across from the ball Jesse had failed to pot earlier. The cowboy forces a grin allowing himself to celebrate the tiny victory.

 

“Fuck.” The pilot curses before downing the rest of her drink and slamming he glass to the table. She never could play well when she was tipsy.

 

“Don’t worry I’ll tidy up.” The cowboy snarks taking a step forward only to stumble.

 

Something isn’t right. Jesse feels dizzy. Almost like he’s stood up too fast, come off a rollercoaster and downed two bottles of jack straight all at the same time. But it’s not because his head is clear… mostly. Dizzy isn’t all he feels but it’s the only thing he can make out clearly. Emotions are streaming into his head mile a minute and they’re not simple ones. Complex with multiple layers, Jesse’s brain can’t work fast enough to process them and when his mind does finally catch up he wishes it hadn’t.

 Confusion, betrayal, anger, acceptance. None of it makes sense. Everything is swirling so furiously around in his head all he can do is focus on his breathing and hope he doesn’t choke. He really feels like he’s going to choke.

 

Something really isn’t right. Sparrow is scared, terrified in fact. He’s never felt this scared. Scared was Jesse’s input, Dangerous and Scared was what Jesse was for. Not Sparrow.

 

The knuckles on his hand go white as he grips the pool table hard enough to leave nail marks in the wood.

 

Then it ends… the flow of emotions stops, and Jesse can hear the metaphorical dial tone.

 

The cue clatters from his hand, tumbling across the velvet for a second before the weight of it’s handle drags it to the floor. He barely hears it, heart pounding so hard in his chest he’s sure he’s going into cardiac arrest. So certain for those tense moments his heart is going stop and he’s going to die then and there. There’s no way anything else could be happening. He’s got to be dying. There’s no other explanation for what he’s feeling. Blood rushes from his head as he falls the rest of the way to the floor and everything goes black.

 

When he comes to Jesse finds himself on the floor. Fio stands over him her face a pale shade as she checks him over… he must have been out for a matter of seconds. The Agent’s head is buzzing so hard he can’t think, he doesn’t quite remember where he is.

 

“Jesse?!” Fio’s asks hand on his shoulder. He gives an uncommitted whine in response. “Okay bud, It’s okay, you’re okay. How’s that head, is it hurting?”

 

Jesse can’t feel any pain…  In fact, Jesse can’t feel anything. His heart starts pounding again. He can’t feel anything. Wait… no there’s his legs… his arms too. He can feel his body again but something’s not right. Somethings not right with his head. Somethings missing.

 

It takes him longer than it should to realise.

 

For the first time since he was eleven… Jesse’s head is empty… He can’t feel anyone but himself…

 

“Sparrow?” He can barely push the words past his lips, voice cracking midway through the ever so short word. Jesse’s almost certain it’s not even his voice. It can’t be his voice because this can’t be happening. Not to him and definitely not to Sparrow.

 

“Jesse?” Fio’s voice is similarly foreign. Jesse wants to respond but all that leaves his lips is a guttural whine, he can’t form words right now , he can’t do anything right now.

 

Then the Pain starts. Sudden and blinding, there’s no easing into it, no prewarning. It’s just there and it’s nothing like he expected. He’d always imagined severing the ties was like a head ache. A persistent and hellish migraine but it’s not even that. It’s not a pain he’s even able to describe. It aches, stings, burns and throbs all at the same time. One of the worst parts is he can’t even tether it to any part of his body. He’d expected it to be confined to his head but it’s not. Jesse can feel it all the way down his spine, like a weed spreading its roots as it seeps into every part of his being.

 

Help arrives in minutes, medics from the infirmary kneeling around him, voices calm but persistent. Jesse’s pulled off the floor, sat back against the pool table. Someone straps a vitals monitor to his arm. They ask him questions, do tests… but it’s all for nought. Everyone in the room has worked out what’s happened. Everyone in the room knows.

 

_Jesse isn’t sick. Jesse is fine. He’s going to be fine._

_  
_  
_It’s lies… Jesse’s never going to be fine ever again. Because the only part of him that was ever fine is dead._

 

_Jesse’s soul mate has died._

 

\- ♥             ♥ -


	2. Axons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months have passed since Jesse lost 'Sparrow' and he's been left to his grief but now a friend is calling for his help and Jesse, as broken as he is, is answering.

Jesse lay numb on the bed. His body felt greasy… sticky almost … in general he felt uncomfortable. The feeling didn’t surprise him. He hadn’t showered since yesterday afternoon and there had been a near constant layer of sweat across his body for the past three hours. Unbroken sleep was but a distant memory.

 

The night terrors had started three days after it happened. Pretty much as soon as the physical pain faded and They hadn’t let up for months.

 

‘Restless sleep and vivid dreams are common symptoms among those to lose their empathy partners’.

 

The self-help pamphlets had been informational if nothing else.

 

 Either way he was awake. That was for sure... he didn’t want to be, but he was. Being awake was not a good thing. Being awake meant feeling that ache, and he wasn’t quite ready for it. Night terrors or being conscious, Jesse wasn’t sure which was worse.

 

In an act of self-preservation he left himself doze, let his mind wander still half-conscious through dream like scenes. That way he could pull himself free if it got too much. Jesse’s half daydreams mostly show pastels. Whites, greys, mint greens, littered with flashes of light blue and yellow. There’s beeping too, a steady, rhythmic high-pitched ring. Metronomic. If he was a romantic he’d believe it was beating in time with his heart. Jesse doesn’t know what the images mean but he gets a sense that he’s seeing a place. Somewhere he visited long ago and has mostly forgotten. Like his mind is so broken it’s crossing wires, dragging up images that have no meaning. The scenes never last long, the dark emptiness returning just as Jesse’s groggy mind finally slips into an unfulfilling sleep. The neutral, maybe real, world giving way to more familiar memories, ones that are less abstract and Jesse can remember the origins of.

 

Mind still addled with pictures of the New Mexican desert and crackling radios playing country hits he never could quite remember the words for, he comes too. His hand paws for the phone on his bedside, a futile attempt to silence the insistent beeping that had woken him. The agent groans as he remembers he’d plugged it in by his desk. Why does past Jesse never think of present Jesse?

 

He lay on his bed for a few rings longer, fore arm flopped over his eyes. The urge to cry was almost over whelming but the cowboy pushed past it, dragging his body out of bed. The alarm was really starting to annoy him any how. When he did reach the phone it became clear that it wasn’t his alarm ringing, in-fact it was only five in the morning, a good hour before it was supposed to go off. Instead the noise was an incoming audio call.

 

“Commander Gabriel Reyes is calling- URGENT”

 

To ignore the call was to sign himself up for a tongue lashing or worse the mental health ward … Neither made him feel all that great so he answered… not mentally prepared for whatever Reyes was going to say.

 

 

“Jesse?” It’s a casual call. He never uses his first name in official calls it’s always McCree then. Nice and formal. All Blackwatch calls are recorded now days.

 

 Jesse’s not sure which he’d prefer at the moment. An official call would mean maybe a mission which he definitely wasn’t ready for but at least then he’d know what to do. Missions have set expectations. Personal calls. Well their trickier… they can mean a variety of things.

 

“Hey, what’s up Jefe?” He asks trying to push a cheery note into his voice. It’s not convincing but Reyes doesn’t make a comment.

 

“I know it’s early but can you meet me at the western side of the infirmary in say… twenty minutes?” His Boss sounds distracted and almost as tired Jesse. Something is happening… it’s not bad but it’s not good. “I’d really appreciate you being there…”

 

“Sure, no problem… but everything’s alright, yeah?” Jesse replies already pulling a fresh set of clothes out of his wardrobe. Reyes sighs down the phone.  

 

“It’s complicated… but yeah. Everything’s going to be alright.” Comes his answer. Jesse believes him. Whatever’s going on Gabe has it handled but he’d prefer Jesse by his side. As broken as he is Jesse is still a comfort to someone.

 

“Good, See you in twenty then.” Jesse confirms, content that even if he feels shit he’s not feeling shit alone.

 

“ See you in twenty.” Reyes is the one to hang up and Jesse is left to dress in the dark as his phone screen clicks off killing the rooms only light

 

\- ♥             ♥ -

 

 

Jesse arrives before Gabe does, standing alone for five minutes in the brightly lit corridor of the medical ward. He’s not in his usual gear, but he doesn’t feel himself and doesn’t feel like keeping up the façade that he is. So, it’s comfort over fashion. A hoodie and pair of Joggers. They’re soft on his skin and one size too big. They make him feel like a kid again and for once it’s a good feeling. One where he can forget for a few moments why he’s really here. Why he’s running on one maybe two hours of broken sleep.

There’s a nurses stations a few metres down the corridor but it’s empty. In fact this whole half of infirmary seems to be a ghost town. Jesse hasn’t seen a single person, even on his walk over from the barracks. It triggers an irrational fear that he’s the only person left in the world. The one everyone alone and awake this early in the morning has.

 

_What if you’re the only person left in the world? What if everyone you love is gone and it’s just going to be you forever?_

_What if you’re already halfway there…_

 

The thoughts are quelled when he hears the soft scuff of footsteps and Reyes comes into view. Jesse waits for the other man to reach him, hand’s in his pockets. The commander looks stressed, black rings around his eyes more noticeable than normal and an expression that is nothing more than just plain ‘tired’.

 

“Thanks for Coming, Jess.” He places a hand on Jesse’s shoulder and gives it squeeze, giving the younger man a weak smile. The scene is surreal like a rerun of one of Jesse’s old memories. A mixture of when Morrison got shot down and Farehaa broke her leg. Gabe’s acting the same but Jesse not sure who’s hurt.

 

“Any time.” Jesse offers back as Reyes leads him towards the nurse’s station.

 

On the other side is a singular unassuming door. Plain white painted wood with a small holoscreen embedded in its centre. There’s nothing intimidating about the entrance way…yet Jesse’s eyes are drawn to the door’s blank screen. There’s no patient name. Which isn’t surprising considering how empty this part of the infirmary is, but it still makes the agent uneasy; a feeling that intensifies when the commander hesitates at the door. Jesse gets a strong feeling that maybe they’re not supposed to be here.

 

Reyes’ face stays thoughtful for a few seconds before steeling as he grips the door handle tightly pulling it open in one smooth motion. Jesse follows him through, unable to stop himself from glancing down the empty corridor one more time.

 

There’s only one occupant and it takes Jesse a few seconds to work out their human. The more the he looks at the scene the more it feels like a workshop than a hospital… The figure is bandaged head to toe which just about the only ordinary thing about him.  Everything else is metal, silicone and a scary amount of tubes and wires. The kid is an utter mess.

 

Jesse has seen prosthetics before and this shouldn’t spook him like it does. Half the team has some kind of robotic replacement but this is different. The augmentation is more extensive and the cybernetic parts don’t blend into the kid’s flesh like they should do… It’s more like his human parts are the prosthetics.

 

Jesse’s jaw clenches and it’s Reyes who speaks first.

 

“This is Genji Shimada.” His voice is flat like he’s debriefing. Gabriel is trying to distance himself. “ He was signed on as a double agent to spy on his family group, The Shimada clan, under my orders.”

 

The kid doesn’t look like yakuza… doesn’t look like part of anything. Too weak to move, Jesse finds it hard to imagine him as an assassin.

 

“It was going well. The kid’s intel helped us shut down some of the groups major schemes… but two months in I get a single message through our only line of contact.”

 

 Fuck…He doesn’t even have his right arm…It’s just wires. Wires and a bunch of panelling.

 

 “ He knows…. He knows…That’s all it said. Not a word more. My messages back go unread and I’m terrified, Jesse. Scared I’ve set this kid up for his death. I thought I had the situation under control…”

 

His throat is bandaged and there’s a tube that goes out to a large machine. Jesse guesses it’s a failsafe should the kid stop the breathing.

“The flight out there takes too long…way too long and when I find him he’s barely clinging to life. Cut down by his own brother. I barely managed to drag the poor kid out of house.”

 

Jesse’s glad he has a face. Or parts of one. Most of it’s covered in bandages and the top half is again covered in tubes and wires. But his eyes are bare… Scrunched up like even in sleep he’s in pain but their there. Jesse can’t really tell since it’s only really a strip that’s uncovered but he thinks the kid was maybe Handsome. That there’s a chance people had liked looking at his face.

 

“It’s miracle he’s alive… Well not a miracle. Angela. She’d agreed without question when I asked her to come. Dragged her last minute all the way to japan and I’m so glad I did. There’s no way he’d be alive If I hadn’t.”

 

Gabe goes quiet after that. Letting Jesse come to his own conclusions about what the doctor did to keep his boy alive.

 

“ Why did you bring me here boss?” Jesse asks realising this isn’t just Gabe admitting his guilt. Jesse knows the commander blames himself for this, but he also knows Gabe isn’t one to dwell on stuff like this if nothing can be helped.

 

“The kid can’t walk.” It’s an innocent enough of an admission, there’s plenty of people out there who need mobility aids. But something about Reyes’ voice makes Jesse Wary. “Overwatch won’t take him and they won’t let me take him either…not like this at least. ”

 

With a Yakuza past and no apparent skills other than being a rich boy assassin Jesse doubts he’d last long in the real world…especially if the kids brother found out about his recovery, if what Gabe has said about the circumstances of his injury are true. If Overwatch isn’t going to help who is? Jesse has an inkling of what Gabe’s alluding to but he has to hear it from him. The thought makes Jesse’s stomach tighten in a way he isn’t used to.

 

 “I’m asking Jesse is it fair of me to ask the kid to give up what left of his body, in exchange of a maybe half decent life in Blackwatch.” Jesse knows this is hard for Gabe, that it’s always been hard for him. Since day one he’s made the hard decisions and sometimes they’ve worked out but sometimes they haven’t. Gabe needs a second voice to tell him that offering this to the boy is fair. Because although the kid technically has a choice there’s only really one option for him. He’s not going to turn down the chance to walk again… Jesse knows because he did the same when it was his choice.

 

It wasn’t as drastic as this, he wasn’t deciding whether to keep his legs, but it had felt like it at the time. Seventeen years old, barely grown, barely lived he was given the choice to spend the good decades of his life in prison or Join Blackwatch. Live incarcerated till he was forty, maybe thirty on good behaviour, and then spend his remaining years scrambling to make a living in a world he didn’t know or join the same group that busted him, the same one that smashed his whole world to pieces because a deep voiced stoic man looked at him like he was actually worth something. He’d chose Blackwatch of course, no one in their right mind would have chosen other whys.

 

Reyes was asking Jesse if he should do same here. Asking if the choice he gave Jesse all those years ago had been fair. If saving this kid at this cost was right.

 

 It wasn’t. There was no right or fair options here. Who ever ‘Genji’ was he’d run out of fair options the moment his brother raised a hand against him. The kid was just another mouse stuck in the shitty glue trap life had laid for them and like Jesse, and all the mice before him, the kid was going to chew his leg off to save his life.

 

“ I’ll clean out a locker for him.”

 

\- ♥ -           ♥ -

 

 

 

The second call he gets is at a more reasonable hour, twelve minutes past six; Jesse is about to get in the shower ready for training. On the phone Reyes gives him permission to skip morning practice. An offer Jesse would normally seize, but it soon becomes clear this free pass comes with conditions. Jesse is to join Gabe that morning, accompany him to some important managerial meetings. The commander passes it off as experience to further his development in the organisation, but Jesse knows it’s more than that. Somethings going on and Reyes just needs a good excuse to get the agent out of training. He gets the feeling it’s related to their meeting in the west wing only a few months prior.

 

They haven’t spoken of what happened since that night, four months of radio silence. Not a single word exchanged on the matter. Jesse’s not one to pry and Reyes isn’t at liberty to share. It’s almost as if the night never happened. Only Jesse knows it did because when he returned to training the morning after everything had been ready for him. Reyes had been expecting him, knew he needed his gear out of storage for that morning. But the most key clue was Mendoza. Or more specifically her locker. It’s next to his so Jesse finds out about it’s condition more out of chance than sleuthing. It’s empty, mendoza’s uniform taken to away to be re-used and her other Knick knacks sent off to grieving family. The storage vessel is unremarkable, empty and most importantly ownerless. It should mean nothing but instead it means everything.

 

 _It doesn’t take Overwatch six months to replace an agent_.

 

_They’re waiting on something- someone._

 

When his morning is in fact filled with meetings, Jesse’s surprised. Budget, development, PR. It’s not what he was expecting but he’s keen to learn. There’s definitely a lot for him to get his head round and if he does progress in the organization he’ll need to know it. At some point Jesse is even roped into meeting operatives from the Grand mesa Watchpoint. It’s an exclusive meeting, one that only the commanders and their second in commands are privy too. Jesse’s surprised Morrison let his presence pass. But Jesse’s a good kid. He keeps his mouth shut, says nothing during the meeting other than a hasty ‘Hello, how you doing?’ when he’s introduced. He’s adamant on staying quite for two reasons, firstly it’s not his place to comment on matters like these and secondly his mind wanders elsewhere. The talks are informative, no doubt about that, but he can’t help but feel Disappointed. Even a little frustrated with himself.

 

Jesse had been hoping that this morning would be about that kid in the west wing. Genji Shimada.

 

But of course he’s been overthinking things again. A habit he thought he’d quit years ago.  Looking for people’s ulterior motives was his own nervous tick. Growing up in deadlock had left him wary of people’s kindness. Too many instances of a young and naïve Jesse had been taken advantage of.

 

But overwatch is different. The people here are honest. They genuinely cared for him and were always as open with him as they could be. They’re family.

 

_So why does it feel like Gabe is still hiding something?_

 

“ Thank you for coming.” The strike commander shakes the hands of the Grand Mesa agents, grip firm and smile picture perfect. Jesse’s own good bye isn’t as polished, It’s polite but he doesn’t have the finesse Morrison has. He feels it’s Reyes’ doing, the other man having taught him all he knows but never really liking the long-winded formalities that came with Military life. Reyes preferred his work to do the talking. So, Jesse’s much the same.

 

“Enjoying your introduction to the boring half of running a strike team, Jesse?” Miss Amaria asks. Jesse’s glad the Captain was at the meeting. As soon as the she’d seen he was in attendance she’d chosen a seat adjacent to him. Essentially sandwiching the cowboy between the second two most important figures in the room and directing a large portion of the talk in his vicinity. It was intimindating but Jesse was glad. Despite being very active in the discussion she always found time to lean across to explain points to Jesse when he looked lost or make informative annotation’s on his copies of the paperwork. Her help was invaluable and Jesse appreciated the attention- although not the smirk he got off Reyes after the Captain corrected is spelling for the second time.

 

“It’s certainly different from my normal morning activities, Captain. But I recognise its importance.” Jesse replies gathering his things into a scruffy pile, eyes drifting up to Reyes who stands with the strike commander. The way Gabe’s pinky stretches out to ghost the outside of Morrison’s own as they stand side by side doesn’t go unnoticed by Jesse and the young agent turns away feeling a too familiar ache in his chest.

 

 It’s been six months.

 

“Plus how can I complain when it means I get to spend more time in company as Radiant as yours Ma’am.” Jesse continues forcing a sly smile and a chuckle. He won’t let himself be affected any longer. He made promises to himself.

 

“Oh shush. You sound like Reinhardt.” She laughs back, tapping him gently on the head with her own stack of papers. Jesse’s smile becomes genuine, it really was nice to spend more time with her. He hadn’t been able to see her as often as used to. Their aim training lessons of Jesse’s early Blackwatch days having long since ended and being in separate department’s meant their paths rarely passed. “Any how It’s nice to see you Jesse. It always warms my heart to see you progressing. Especially after your rough start.”

 

“Thanks.” Jesse replies but further conversation is halted as Reyes gestures for the agent to follow. They’re moving on. Jesse bobs his head and bids the Captain a hasty good bye. “ It was a pleasure talkin’ Miss Amari, Say hello to Fareeha for me, please.”

 

“Will do, and Jesse. I’m always here if you need me.” Her hand is on his upper arm, fingers tightening to give the smallest of squeezes.

 

 Jesse falters, the brittle shell he’s kept round himself giving way at the last second as she looks at him. Gives him _that_ look. The same soft eyed, weak smiled look that he’s been getting for months.

 

_Even if he can forget what’s happened, no one else will. He’ll never really get over what’s happened._

 

Jesse joins Reyes with a slight crease in his brow.

 

The commander doesn’t say anything as he the agent joins him, and he leads the younger man out of the door. It gives Jesse time to stew on his thoughts. Let’s him ride out the tenseness in his chest and the fuzzy feeling in his head. He trusts Reyes is taking him some place important.

 

 By the time he’s finally able to pay attention to his surrounding their half way across the compound.

 

“The training yard?” Jesse asks as Reyes pauses outside the gym to swipe his card. Jesse had been foolish to think he’d be let out of training for the whole day. Although it had been a nice thought. Man he hoped he’d left his sneakers in his locker, running would not be fun in boots.

 

“There’s something I want to show you.” Reyes replies cryptically as he holds the door open for the cowboy. There’s warmth in his eyes as Jesse passes him, back tracking when Reyes moves in the opposite direction of the locker room. “Just follow me.”

 

Their journey is short, Reyes leading Jesse up two flights of stairs and into a Viewing area that overlooks a training room. Jesse supposes he has always been aware of the room, having glanced up at the dark glass whilst running drills at some point of another, but he can’t say he’s ever given the place much thought. Let alone visit it. The room is dim, the own light emanating from the dark glass that makes up one wall of room. It’s a one-way mirror overlooking the gym below.

 

“We here to watch the squad?” Jesse askes disappointed. He’d seen Blackwatch run a million and one drills. The prospect of watching them again didn’t exactly thrill him.

 

“Just look.” Reyes said the same warmth in his eyes ebbing into the rest of his expression, creases forming around his mouth as he held back a smile.

 

 Eyebrows raised Jesse steps up to the glass and looks at the scene below.

 

He doesn’t know how he recognises the man but he does. There no logical reason to it. He can’t pick out the feature or characteristic that clues him in, he just knows. Something just clicks.

 

This is the man from the west wing. The kid he saw in that hospital bed all those months ago and the man who’s been hovering in the back of his thoughts ever since. No doubt he’s is looking better. Drastically better. There’s no white linen or stained bandages. Just sleek expanses of metal, silicone and flesh. There’s a dappling of wires too but their less than before and only protrude from the man’s head and fore arm. He looks so strong. Standing on two legs: Cybernetic but sturdy. There’s a predator like tenseness to the man’s body and Jesse, even from this distance, can see the silicone muscles in his legs tense and his toes spread as the cyborg lands a perfect flip.

 

“Great Job Genji, it seems your Somatosensory system is working well with that new line of code.” Jesse’s surprised to hear Dr Zeigler’s voice over the PA. he spots her a second later standing in the opposite viewing room, lights on to rid the glass of its reflection. It’s not like her to be part of combat training. She’s medical staff, they never run drills with normal squads. Not unless it’s for a mission or the squad is short on combat medics. It’s weird. “Would you like to try the wall climb now?”

 

“Yes, Dr Ziegler.” Jesse is unable to suppress the shiver that makes it way down his spine when the cyborg speaks for the first time. His voice is so robotic sounding, only the slightest hint of an accent peaking through. Out of context Jesse would have thought an omnic was speaking. But it’s not that which throws Jesse. He’d been expecting it, maybe not consciously, but his brain had pieced it together… so much of the kid was machine it made sense that this would be too. What really gets Jesse is the way the other man speaks: dull, void of emotion. The tone tells of a feeling Jesse’s become oh so used to over the past four months. Grief. This kid is like Jesse, so sick of the pain he’s decided to feel nothing instead. He’s let himself become numb.

 

A section in the floor opens up allowing a flat wall to emerge. Genji shifts his weight from foot to foot eyeing up the obstacle as he waits. Jesse’s enraptured. He’s see warped walls before, where the floor provides a small steep ramp for the climber to propel themselves up, but never sheer walls like this.

 

“You may begin.” The PA Crackles.

 

Genji’s like a rubber band, pulled taught he fires off in a split second. Jesse’s awe struck. It’s been less than four months but the kids in perfect alignment with his body, his feet falling effortlessly as he takes the split second run to the wall and leap. The walls almost ten feet and he scales it with ease. Crouching at the apex he looks up to Angela and Jesse’s dumb found, he’s never seen anything like it.  

 

“Higher, please.” He croaks, not sounding the least bit out of breath. Jesse can see the fingers of his flesh arms twitch, as if kid’s suppressing some kind of muscle memory.   


“I don’t know Genji, that’s easily the height of a single floor building. I’d like you to try it a few more times to make sure your performance is consistent before we try a higher height.” Doctor Zeigler replies leaning over to speak into the control panel’s mic.

The cyborg turns away from the window as he jumps down. Jesse doesn’t miss the way his face scrunches in annoyance under the mask.

 

But to the Genji’s credit he’s patient, completes another five rounds of climbing the wall with little to no struggle. Each time his hand’s catching the top of the wall and hauling himself up as his legs piston against the sheer surface to take some of the weight. 

 

“Now can I try?” He’s barely on his feet a top the wall before he asks. There’s a huff of amusement from Reyes at Jesse’s side.

 

“Okay, but only another five feet.” There’s another flash of hidden anger but the cyborg does as he’s told. Scales the walls another 6 times, although with less ease. There’s pauses now, moments where the ninja has to readjust his grip on the wall before pulling himself up or where his legs don’t quite hit the wall at the right angle and he loses traction, legs scraping a second time to stop from falling. Despite it Genji makes the wall each time, standing at its peak triumphantly.

 

“Higher.”

 

“Genji…”

 

“Higher….please.”

 

Jesse sees the Doctor’s expression knit into one of worry as she raises the wall another five feet.  It’s now as tall as a two-storey building. Had Jesse not watched the cyborg scale the last two walls he wouldn’t believe he could do it.

 

Genji bounces on his toes eyeing the wall with an expression of complete concentration. He fires off again this time springing onto the wall before bouncing off and returning to his original start point, obviously unhappy with his first start. The second try goes a little better, Genji makes it up the first fifteen feet with ease, his arms and legs clawing as he crawls up the wall like an animal. But he doesn’t reach the top, instead he scrapes down the wall skittering off its face a foot from the floor to land in a crouch.

 

“Huuhaagg.” Genji is scowling as he walks back to his first mark. He readies for few heart beats before trying again. There’s a similar result, although he’s only a foot from the top this time.

 

After the tenth attempt it becomes apparent the cyborg isn’t going to make it. Frustration is clouding his brain. Movements becoming sloppier and more frantic. He doesn’t even make the 15 foot mark on his next try.

 

“Genji, I think that’s enough for today. I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Dr Zeigler calls over the PA before the cyborg can try again.

 

“I can do this!” Genji snaps a little too loud, a little too fast. The creases above the man’s nose have deepened as he scowls.

 

“ Fifteen feet is an impressive feet on it’s own. You don’t need to reach twenty to succeed.” Genji paces a foot or two his eyes glaring at the doctor before looking to the wall.

 

“I could do it before.” Jesse guesses he means before the accident (if you can call it that).

 

“Yes, but you had boots to help you then. It’s not logical to think you could do the same without them.” Jesse can hear the awkward grimace in her voice. She’s trying to breeze over the subject.

 

“Are these legs not the same?” The words are said almost with a snarl. The Dcotor doesn’t reply and Genji eyes up the wall, taking a few more steps back, as far back from the wall as possible. He’s going to try again.

 

Genji’s feet squeak against floor, robotic toes spreading out, heals flashing bright red pressure sensors on their pads. It’s as the cyborg takes his first few steps that Jesse feels the strangest of tingling in his chest. His heart and world seem to slow. Everything coming to a stop for a moment as the cyborg’s eyes lift from the wall and slowly track across the gym to somehow meet Jesse’s behind the dark glass. There’s no way the kid can see him but somehow Jesse is looking straight into the red irises of this other strange man. Then as fast as it comes the moment passes and the world catches up. Genji is at the wall his fingers connecting with the obstacle as the rest of his limbs find their place for the climb.

 

Genji is going to make it. Jesse knows it as soon as the man hits the wall. He doesn’t know why but he just believes he can. He knows Genji can do this and he wills him to do so. So the cyborg does. He makes it. His fingertips passing he tops of the wall, rising until the flat of his upper palm can grasp the ledge. But all too suddenly gravity catches up and ninja gives a short yell as he loses his grip, feet and fingers slipping from the wall. Genji hangs from the ledge by his flesh arm. Jesse can see the  muscle in the man’s arm straining under the weight and how ever so slowly his fingers are slipping.

“Genji, drop you’re going to hurt yourself.” Angela’s panicked shout comes through the PA but the Ninja doesn’t let go.

 

Jesse doesn’t know why but suddenly he’s slamming on the mic button and shouting through the PA himself, drowning out the doctor’s cry with a single clear sentence.

 

“YOU CAN DO THIS.”

 

Invigorated Genji hauls himself up with an angry cry. Chest heaving he lays top the wall, a tinkling laugh sputtering out in-between breaths. It’s the most beautiful sound Jesse has heard in a long while.

 

_Genji Shimada is more than Jesse ever expected and something fuzzy buzzes at the back of his head._

 

There’s a beeping noise and the wall begins to lower until it merges into the floor and leaves Genji kneeling alone in the empty gym. The ninja’s head tilts upwards to look at the dark glass of Jesse’s observation room. The cowboy watches the man, unsure what to do. Reyes makes the move for him , leaning past the cowboy to press a few buttons and pull down the dark screen, revealing their presence to the stunned cyborg and Doctor.  The commander bends over to speak into the mic

 

“Hey Angie. Thought we’d see how Genji was doing.”

 

“Ga- Commander Reyes. I had not expected your presence.”

 

“Haha, well that’s Blackwatch for you. Always where you never expect.” Reyes is practically purring into the mic. Jesse can tell he’s trying to backtrack, they had not been meant to be seen. Guiltily Jesse bites his lip.

 

“Is that McCree with you?” Angela asks, she doesn’t look all that pleased to see the young Agent. Spooked Jesse shifts his eyes down to the trainee on the gym floor. Genji’s eyes are similarly intense, boring straight at Jesse. He feels like a deer in the headlights.

 

“Yes… He’s shadowing me today.”

 

“I see…”

 

There’s an incredibly awkward pause.

 

“So, I guess now’s a best as time as any- I want Shimada on my team.” Jesse knew this was always the intended outcome of Genji’s rehabilitation, but he also knows Reyes has to pretend there’s a choice for the cyborg. Genji’s eyes have flicked off the cowboy now and are regarding the Reyes curiously. Like he’s deciding whether the man is an ally or a threat.

 

“I don’t think he’s read-“  Angela begins, voice tense.

  
“And what exactly is your team, _Commander_?” Genji interrupts tilting his head as he gets to his feet.

 

“ That’s on a need to know Basis, Shimada, but I can assure you your skill set is more than adequate for our line of work. We don’t offer a place in Blackwatch to just anyone. My team only takes the best.” Reyes is egging the other man on, poking the cat to see how sharp it’s claws are.

 

“ We will see, Commander. “ Genji says eyes sharp as they flick back to Jesse. The cowboy meets the gaze steadily… this man is really not what he was expecting. “ I accept your offer.”

 

“See you at Training tomorrow morning then. Welcome to Blackwatch, Agent Shimada.”

 

\- ♥ -         - ♥ -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey isn't this a McGenji fic I hear you cry as Jesse Interacts with everyone but Genji, except to scream and eye fuck him but consider this my paitient little mcgenjlings: I don't know what I'm doing. 
> 
> Anyhow thanks for reading guys and get ready for some more heavy Mcgenji interactions in the coming chapters as both our boys are finally awake.


	3. Synapses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji isn't exactly what Jesse expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing of sparring and takedowns. I just searched youtube so don't fight me fighty educated people for inaccurate portrayals of sparring.

Jesse’s mouth twitches into frown for the briefest of seconds before he finds his composure and returns it to an easy natured smirk. The lapse is one of many. Seems it’s becoming been becoming a common occurrence in Cowboy’s mornings. Reyes’ own mouth remains a flat line but his eyes narrow so Jesse knows he’s seen his expression. There’s no getting out of this...

  
  
“An’ why can’t we give him a private room? I get not sticking him in the barracks but why a double room?” Jesse asks, he knows his Query is justified but the words sound bratty now that they’re in the air.

  
  
“ I know you worked hard for your Private bunk McCree and it’s your choice whether you join Shimada or not but...” Reyes begins, his choice of name for the young agent very telling of the kind of choice Jesse is being given. “ I’m asking this as a favour. Shimada needs to be assimilated into the team as fast as possible and I feel this is the prime route of doing so.”

  
  
It’s true, bunking with Genji was likely to lead to Jesse getting to know him. There’s no denying you get to know things about the people you room with that you wouldn’t other whys know but Jesse’s not convinced. He’s sure he’s more than capable of getting to know the guy without having to sleep in the same room. It’s not exactly like they got to spend much time in the bunks anyhow with all the training and the lures of the Rec room. Jesse doesn’t need to share a bunk with Genji to be friends with the kid.

  
  
The only thing that makes him hesitate sharing this is the stare that Reyes gives him. It’s not aggressive or stern, the commander won’t be angry if Jesse says no. No, the commander really won’t but he’ll know or at least work out the real reason Jesse is so adamantly trying to avoid the bunking situation. Jesse still gets night terrors, he’s still an insomniac and he still damn well struggles not to cry in the mornings. It’s really not something he wants another person to see nor something he wants to spend energy hiding when he can just keep it confined neatly in his own private room. Genji’s not the problem here it’s Jesse.

  
  
“Look I don’t know, Jefe. It’s just-and I know it sounds stupid-I just like having my own space.” The look he gives Reyes is sincere, apologetic. The man breaks their eye contact to rubs his face, a hand running over his head. The fist stays there pausing for a few moments before the commander begins scratching his scalp; he still isn’t used to having his hair so short.

  
  
  
“Genji can’t have a private room because he has to be watched until Angela deems him not to be a... risk.”

  
  
Jesse tilts his head “A risk? Assassin or none I’m sure overwatch can-“ The realisation hits him like a tonne of bricks. “Oh...”

  
  
Preoccupied with the Genji business Reyes hadn’t been there to man Jesse’s own suicide watch. Instead his first few days after losing Sparrow had been filled with Fio’s company, Moira filling in the gaps when she needed breaks and when all of Blackwatch was needed Torbjorn, from the engineering department stayed with Jesse. The odd group wouldn’t have been his first choice, well maybe Fio, but it was better than a bunch of strangers. The Med team was nice, good at their job too but after something like that he needed someone who knew him, even if they didn’t exactly get along. O’Dorien pointedly took the night shift’s and Jesse never complained about that arrangement.

  
  
Lindholm had proven to be pretty good company in the end. Jesse had never been put off by the swede’s grumpy exterior, but he never exactly got the impression the man particularly liked him. In their time together, the cowboy came to realise his gruff persona was simply the man’s own strange form of being professional. When allowed to relax and open up Torbjorn was pretty jovial...He was the only watch who let Jesse drink at least. Heavily controlled of course, a single shot of whiskey after a particularly bad night terror but Jesse would be damned if it didn’t help him sleep better that night.

  
  
To go through that alone... to be watched by strangers. For someone to only know you as the guy they watch to make sure he doesn’t do something ...’risky’. That’s no way to spend recovery.

  
  
Genji doesn’t know Jesse and Jesse truthfully doesn’t know him. They are strangers. They knwo nothing about each other apart from what’s been told to them by -again- more strangers. But Jesse feels he’s something. A stranger yes, but maybe less of stranger than someone else. For now, at least. Jesse will Genji’s less of a stranger. He’ll know him as the boy who made it to the top of the wall and not the boy who’s a risk.

  
  
“I’ll bunk with him.”

  
  
“Thank you.”  


  
  
\- ♥ -          -♥ -

  
  
Genji’s eyes are on the horizon and there’s that same twitch in his fingers from before. The one where his fingertips hover by his hip like he’s reaching for something that’s not there. Jesse watches him with neutral face but the gears in his head are whirring. The cowboy’s always been able to read people, work out what their deal is but Genji is an enigma. He seems to want to be here: always eager to prove himself and following any orders given but there’s also this air of ‘antsy-ness’ about him. He’s fidgety, flighty like feral cat that’s just waiting for its owner to open the door and the path back to freedom. 

  
  
“You not gunna stretch?” Jesse asks pulling on his ankle, so his heel meets his rear. He holds the pose, feeling the muscles in his left leg strain in the way that signals he’s stretching them right. Jesse counts in his head, waiting for the time he can release and repeat the action on the other leg.

  
  
“I don’t need to stretch for runs.” Genji replies dragging his eyes away from whatever he was watching reluctantly. The words come almost 20 seconds after the question.

  
  
“Oh neat...Well I won’t take too long anyhow.” The cyborg doesn’t continue the conversation, his eyes only lingering on Jesse’s face for a few more moments before returning to whatever he was watching. “So, you done much running? I mean everyone runs but army drills are a bit different from your average stuff and Reyes’ said you were more into your martial arts anyhow.”  
  
  
“Are you done stretching?” Genji asks this time keeping his eyes on whatever he’s watching. The drop of composure frown returns, and Jesse has to actively pull his lips into a smile.

  
_  
Okay, sunshine! I’m working fast as I can._

 __  
  
The cowboy leans to one side hands on hips. His right leg extended, left bent, as he stretches his groin. “Pretty much...”

  
  
The cyborg doesn’t reply again and instead heads off down the trail, following the other pairs of Blackwatch agents.

  
  
“Fuck me, I guess.” Jesse says as he sets off at a faster pace to catch up. He manages to fall in place next to the ninja as they reach the start of the trail: a worn, heavily trodden dirt path that cuts through the thick alpine Forest that surrounds the Swiss base.

  
  
Jesse always liked this run. Thick with trees, it’s so different from the concrete jungle that makes up the base. He feels more free here, like everything going on in his life doesn’t matter as much. He can forget about missions and the growing tensions and just sink back into his body. Focus on nothing but his feet on the ground and the bite of the mountain air in his lungs.

  
  
The Forrest is different to the ones he grew up near in New Mexico but it echoes that same feeling of mystery and intrigue. Too much of a dessert brat he’d never spent much time in landscapes like this but the few memories he does have of Forests are good ones. Trees always seem to find a way of setting his mind at ease.

  
  
He wonders if Genji shares his appreciation. The other man hasn’t said anything but that’s hardly uncommon with him.

  
  
The cyborg runs at his side silent in every way. His footfalls ghost like, barely making the slightest of scuffing noises on the dirt path. Jesse would be lying if it wasn’t a little jarring. He’s used to the heavy foot falls of Reyes. The twin thundering of their boots on the path as they run. But now it seems like he’s running alone, his footfalls drowning out any noise Genji makes. Jesse wonders if it would make much of a difference if Genji wore boots.

  
  
The other man is in nothing but his prosthetics currently. Which, even if Jesse has never seen him any other way, surprises him. The cowboy had expected a jacket or at least something to cover his exposed arm and pectoral but no the kid runs half naked seemingly immune to the mountain chill. Jesse contemplates offering his jacket but he’s not sure they’re at that level of familiarity yet. The gunslinger himself runs in a pair of rugby shorts over leggings with a tank top and the not-yet-offered jacket. Warm but breathable, it keeps the chill off his bones.

  
  
The run progresses and they make their way further into the Forrest. Jesse’s eyes are on the trail ahead but he keeps on catching Genji in the corner of his eye. Flashes of light catching on metal and red accents that don’t quite blend into the wood’s browns and greens. The cyborg is shorter too, the top of his head barely making the top of Jesse’s upper lip, so It bobs up and down in his peripherals. It’s not exactly distracting but it’s different from what he’s used to. For every three strides Jesse makes the ninja takes four. Despite this he doesn’t lag, in fact Jesse finds himself keeping a pace a fraction faster than what he’s used to. Subconsciously trying to keep up with his companion’s faster running speed.

  
  
It gets Jesse pondering. How good Genji’s stamina is with the prosthetics exactly? Better than his he guesses, but surely they must get tired at some point, run out of juice or whatever powers them or at the very least ache? He’s heard that wearing prosthetics for a while can cause the remainder of the limb to ache. But then again Genji was so different from anyone else. Maybe he didn’t get aches like the average person and Jesse’s not too sure how much Genji has left anyway. He knows he shouldn’t pry into the details of Genji’s body. That it doesn’t matter, makes no difference to him. It’s none of his business but like he’s prone to Jesse wonders in the privacy of his own head.

  
  
The isolation doesn’t last long though as the cowboy’s glimpses turn to looks, his eyes flicking from the path to Genji’s legs for longer periods of time. The bottoms of are no doubt robotic. There’s negative space where there shouldn’t be and plastic too thick to be a cover. It’s Further up, where Jesse wonders. There’s the same shiny plastic but part way up it gives way to this spongy tendon looking material that bleeds from the cyborgs thighs to his ass.

  
  
And Not for the first time Jesse notes how nice of an ass it is.

  
  
It’s shaped well and in Jesse’s defence he does have eyes. Crude as it is he can appreciate how perfect it is, especially when their taking a run. But the niceness of it makes him ponder. Is it artificial? Cause surely a ‘real’ ass can’t be that perfect? Maybe? He’d seen some nice ass in his time. 

  
  
Jesse’s run slows a little, just the tiniest fraction but it’s enough for Genji to pull ahead as the cowboy inspects his rear further. He’d be lying if he said his stare was wholly investigatory... more dabbling on the side of appreciation.

  
  
  
When Jesse’s caught he senses rather than sees Genji first. Feels a prickle of anger dance up his spine before his gaze lifts and meets the furious crimson of the other man’s eyes. The cyborg continues to run but the look he gives Jesse is practically murderous. Had he not the confidence that he could take him Jesse would have feared for his life.

  
  
“Erh...” The words he was going to speak die in his throat as he pulls up to Genji’s side. He feels embarrassed and flustered for the next few strides but almost too suddenly it fades and gives way to anger.

  
  
Why should Jesse apologise? He was just looking. No harm in that. The kid doesn’t have to be so annoyed. Wasn’t like he was looking at him nastily.

  
  
Genji isn’t watching Jesse anymore, instead his gaze is back on the path and his running pace has increased. He’s still scowling though, boring metaphorical holes into the trunks of the trees on the path ahead. Jesse matches the expression, the atmosphere around their run changing.

 

 It’s going to be a long morning.

  


\- ♥ -          -♥ -

  
  
  
The cloud of tension follows the pair even after their run. The unspoken conflict unrelenting as they pull out of the woods and reunite the rest of Blackwatch. The woodland path ends but a few hundred metres from the eastern checkpoint into the watchpoint so they won’t have far to walk for lunch break. Soldiers lay flopped out on the sparse patches of grass around them; each catching their breath after their own runs, a few stand pulling their bodies into cool down stretches. Jesse spots Reyes immediately, he’s the only member of the party who doesn’t look tired in the least. His smile is broad as walks amongst his squad handing out reusable bottles of water and checking on the team.  Although thirsty Jesse doesn’t feel like calling out to him like he usually would.

  
  
If it had been regular day he’d have been tailing the boss; Helping him with the distribution of drinks -The puppy dog habit both a combination of his closeness to Reyes and that left-over eagerness to please from when he first joined Blackwatch- but today the thought of talking to so many people churns his stomach. It’s a foreign and wholly unpleasant feeling.

  
  
There’s a clack of plastic to Jesse’s side and he turns to see Genji sitting in the grass. The cyborg sits loosely cross legged his right foot pulled into his left knee as he begins to work the stray bits of grit and mud out from between his toes. It’s a piece of maintenance Jesse hadn’t been expecting but he’s glad for an excuse to sit down. Groaning like an old man he plonks down on the grass by the ninja’s side. It felt good to be off his feet. Forearms resting on his kneecaps he tries to look anywhere but Genji, lest he earn another murderous gaze. Instead he let his eyes drift across the landscape, his eyes tracing the mountains looming in the distance and the hills that eased down from them to base. Finally his gaze came to rest on the dip in the horizon, the small area that indicated the main path from the base to the city and the outside world.

 

Memories of himself flicker at the back of his mind. Unpleasant but less so now. A twenty something kid pretending to be seventeen to avoid a life sentence. The same kid a mere month later being dragged from the states to a different continent altogether. A few days later still and he’s sat on the edge of the woods wondering how long it would take him to walk from the top of the mountain to the nearest town. But most importantly he remembers the strong hand on his shoulder, the one that asked him to stay.

 

“Hey there you two. How was the run?” Jesse drags himself from his thoughts, breaking into an easy smile when he recognises Reyes. The late morning sun shines over the commander’s shoulder and Jesse raises an arm to block it out.

 

“Pretty good, Jefe.” Jesse replies taking the water bottle offered to him. “Thanks.” He adds after taking a swig, wiping his beard and mouth clear with a sleeve. Absent mindedly he offers the bottle to Genji still looking at Reyes.

 

“Good. What about you Shimada? I’m sure it was a walk in a park compared to what Angela has been putting you through.” Reyes speaks to Genji but his right hand, kept by his side, motions downwards and away from the cyborg. Jesse looks at him quizzically before the motion is repeated more insistently.

 

“It was different. Dr Zeigler’s training tests more rapid reactions. She looks for discrepancies and lag in my movements.” Jesse looks to Genji as he speaks, as always enraptured by his voice. The ninja’s sole focus is on the commander and he ignores the drink offered to him. As always it’s hard to read his expression with his faceplate on.

 

_Faceplate._

 

Of course Genji wouldn’t take the drink. He never takes his face plate off.

  
  
_You fucking idiot._

 

Jesse lowers his arm quickly before hastily deciding instead to down the last of the water as Genji continues. “ The run was more focused on endurance. Something she has always done to my …parts… without my presence.”

 

“Ah well if you prefer more rapid reactions I’m sure you’ll enjoy this afternoon’s session.” Reyes’ hand slowly forms a thumbs up and Jesse stops downing the drink leaving but a capful in the bottom. “Sparring practice. We’ll see how those cybernetics fair against your fellow agents.”

 

“I look forward to it.” Genji says curtly and Jesse nods. Sparing was always a good laugh for the team. Good way of getting frustrations out and learning new skills. Jesse wasn’t the best, but he was getting better; the increase in his muscle mass over the last few years helping immensely. He was looking forward to it too.

 

There’s a heartbeat and Jesse thinks Reyes is going to wind up here and send the squad to lunch but Genji speaks once more his eyes on Jesse: intense and hostile. “I have been itching to test out what I capable of.”

  
  
Jesse pulls the drink back up to his lips and downs the last gulp of water.   
  
  


\- ♥ -          -♥ -

 

“Where the fuck is he?” Jesse growls checking his phone for the fifth time. He’d arranged to meet Genji here five minutes ago. Reyes had dismissed the agents for lunch after the run. Jesse as usual went to the cafeteria to grab his meal but Genji was to head over to the med bay to luncheon with Angela. Jesse wasn’t sure if it was necessity or company he went for but either way they’d arranged to meet outside the Barrack’s quarter of an hour before training started so Jesse could show Genji to the gym where they held sparring practice. For the past three days since Genji joined Blackwatch and started bunking with Jesse they’d done so without a hitch. Both men punctual and eager to start training.

 

But today something must have held Genji up though as the cyborg was nowhere to be seen even as the clock ticked onwards marking him ten minutes late. Jesse wondered if he should go to the infirmary, see if Genji had ended up there. He didn’t want to presume anything, but he didn’t know how stable the ninja’s new body was. He hoped the other man had just forgotten the time and it wasn’t something as drastic as his first thought.

 

 It would take them five minutes to get to the gym, two if they ran and then another two minutes for Jesse to change into his indoor trainers. They were cutting it fine. Jesse finally started running for the gym when three minutes too hit. Where ever Genji was he hoped he was okay and that Reyes was understanding when the kid turned up late.

 

“Agent McCree!” Jesse skidded to a halt mid-way through the yard that formed a short cut to gym and glanced in the direction of the caller. Miss Amari stood at the entrance to a faculty building a hundred yards away clip board in hand. “ No running on the watchpoint. You’ll cause a panic.”

 

“Sorry, Ma’am. I’ll tone it down to speed walk.” He called back taking a few steps in the direction of the gym looking at her impatiently, urgently aware of the precious seconds he was losing here. 

 

“Good lad.” She called back looking at him with that amused look she always got when Jesse broke rules. Jesse started off again only to stop as she called out again. “ Oh and Jesse.”

  
  
“Yes?” He asked through gritted teeth, bouncing on his heels.

 

“Fareeha got into her first college. We’re having a party in the next two weeks or so. I hope your come.” She had to be kidding, I mean Jesse was chuffed to pieces the little mite had gotten in but he didn’t have time right now. She must know! The half smile she has means she definitely knows. She’s toying with him.

 

“Yes! I mean fantastic, yes, I’ll definitely be there but if you don’t mind…Training and Reyes.” He nodded in the direction of the alleyway.

 

“Dismissed Agent McCree. Have fun sparring.” She did know! And he’ll be damned if Reyes will take Miss Amari as an excuse. Damn old people and their teasing. Although he couldn’t feel too bad, Fareeha’s good news lighting a small glow flame of pride in his chest.

 

When he did arrive at training he was a solid seven minutes late and everyone else was already in front of the mats watching Reyes intently as he talked through todays focus and agenda.

 

“Nice of you to join us McCree. We’d started to think somehow you’d gotten amnesia and forgotten where the Gym was.” Reyes teased, his tone harsher than it should be. As always trying not to play favourites with Jesse. “ Even Shimada seemed to make it on time and he’s never been here.”

 

_Amusement._

 

He doesn’t know why he feels amused, but he does. It’s an emotion out of the dark. One that sparks as his eyes meet the crimson of the missing cyborg from across the crowd of Agents. For once the other man isn’t scowling. His eyebrows are still furrowed slightly but it’s not an angry stare more like his face has been pulled into one of displeasure for so long it doesn’t know how to relax any other way.

 

The feeling soon gives way to annoyance as he realises what has happened. Genji had left him waiting… left him to be late on his own whilst he turned up on time. It’s spiteful and weaselly, no doubt prompted by the stupid incident on the run. Who the fuck did this kid think he was? Jesse had nothing short of courteous these past three days and he slips up once and gets this shit.

 

“Sorry Boss.” Jesse replies not bothering to give excuses as he drags his eyes off his roommate’s. Reyes huffs and continues his speech.

 

“Today’s hold is the anaconda.” The commander explains before beckoning Jesse over. Jesse steps up to the mat still slightly pink cheeked from his run. “McCree here will help me demonstrate.”

 

“Alligator roll or proper Anaconda?” He asks hoping for the former. When Reyes confirms the later the cowboy holds in a whine of displeasure. The later isn’t much fun to the receiving end of. It’s going to hurt when he hits the mat and it’s going to suck watching how much pleasure the squad’s going to get out of watching him hit it.

 

“This is a taxing hold to preform but effective if you’ve got the overhead space and your attacker tries to tackle you.” Reyes begins taking a wide stance on the far side of the mat. From former experience Jesse knows Reyes is not an easy man to tackle, hold or none. He may not be the biggest man on the watch point but his muscles are dense and primed with whatever SEP pumped into him. “ Go ahead McCree.”

 

Sighing Jesse rushes Reyes. He throws his weight into his shoulder as he collides with the commander’s midriff. His arms wrap around the other man’s middle as he tries to push him over. Reye stands firm however his legs only shifting maybe a half inch or so. As predicted Reyes takes hold of one of his elbows and his head forming his own lock on the younger agent. In a jerky motion the larger man half swings half drags Jesse round so he’s on the edge of the mat.

 

The next bit is going to hurt.

 

Reyes’ knees upwards dazing Jesse for time enough to hook his head under the cowboy’s arm and slot their shoulders together. The next few moments are familiar but no less unpleasant as Jesse is lifted into the air legs flailing. Their two bodies create a wonky line in the air for a split second as Jesse’s lifted upside down on Reyes’ shoulder before they eventually topple backwards and Jesse slams into the mat _hard_. The commander is up before he is, a firm hand on Jesse’s collar and waist band as he heaves and practically throws him to the side of the mat.

 

“Right, let’s go through that slower.”

 

Jesse’s thankful when Reyes only demonstrates two more times. The third time being when Jesse preforms the manoeuvre and Reyes is the one to hit the mat. Even if the commander shows off, his legs straight when he reaches the pinnacle of the flip, in complete control even when he’s the dummy. The team is dismissed after to try the manoeuvre on their own. Agents pair up automatically and move to mats till it’s just Jesse, Reyes and Genji standing on the original mat.

 

Jesse knew Genji would be his partner. Jesse’s dubbed his unofficial keeper and it’s assumed not only by the cyborg himself but by the rest of the squad but it still annoys him. Well maybe not annoys but tires him. Tires him in a way he can’t explain. He doesn’t feel like he’s quite over what happened, that he’s barely keeping himself together let alone helping someone else. Yet he agreed to this and it would be cruel to back out or make excuses. Not to mention cowardly. Still thoughts of kindness are hard when the other man continues to treat him so coldly.

 

“ Are you ready?” Genji asks taking one side of the mat as Reyes leaves them to watch the other pairs. Jesse watches him critically. Was that all he was going to say? No explanation for why he stood Jesse up?

 

“Why didn’t you turn up? I was late cause I waited for you at the mess hall so long.” He challenges the other man, keeping his voice level as not to draw attention.

 

“Angela gave me directions. I did not think you fool enough to wait long enough to be late.”

 

No fucking apology not even a look of remorse.

 

Jesse isn’t given a chance to reply as the ninja speeds towards him head lowered. Jesse almost topples at the force of the tackle but he manages to keep his footing, leaning back into the other man. The kid is surprisingly heavy. Nowhere near as light as Jesse had thought after watching him move so spritely during their first (conscious) encounter. Still he manages to grabble the other man. Genji fights him the whole way, resisting any movement and still pushing against Jesse, trying to bring him to the floor. It’s good for training, guaranteed a real adversary would fight just as hard but it’s still a bit shitty. If Jesse hadn’t known the move so well and was trying it for the first time there’s no way he would have been able to pull it off. It takes three knees to the stomach subdue the ninja enough to move his grip and all of Jesse’s strength to lift and flip him backwards. Even then Genji is on his feet before Jesse. The man is like a bouncy ball, practically springing off the mat.

 

“Can you maybe warn me next time?” Jesse asks his annoyance slipping into his voice as he gets to his feet.

 

“Your stance was wide. I thought you were ready.” Genji replies from the edge of the mat , leaning down to adjust one of the rubber caps that covered the knives on the back of his legs. He doesn’t even look at Jesse.

 

“No I meant for earlier.” Jesse continues glaring at the other man, adding clarification when Genji shows no reaction. “ When you made me late.”

 

“ I will try in future to rely on you less.” Genji confirmed, once again admitting no guilt. Jesse felt his chest tense in anger. He fuelled it into his manoeuvre as Genji charged at him again.

 

This time there was no struggle. Jesse, forceful and almost merciless, manhandled Genji into the lock without any knees and flipped him with almost beast like aggression. There was loud, very audible slap as Genji hit the mat. This time it was Jesse who got to his feet first, accompanied by a “ Nice one McCree” from Reyes on the other side of the gym.

 

Satisfied Jesse watched the ninja get to his feet, the same murderous expression from this morning plastered across what little of his face Jesse could see.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Ready.” The other man affirmed and Jesse charged.

 

Jesse wasn’t able to predict the other man’s moves as Genji shifted his stance. The ninja turned his back on Jesse, the briefest show of weakness before the cowboy was hit on the side of face by a flying kick that sent him reeling and off the mat. It wasn’t the move they’d been practicing and Jesse was wholly unprepared so he went further than he would have had he been prepared. The smack of the cyborgs foot against Jesse’s cheek was nearly as loud as Jesse’s slam of Genji onto the mat.

 

“SHIMADA!” Came Reyes’ roar across the gym as Jesse started to come to his senses. He tasted blood in his mouth and an ache in his jaw. The young agent severely hoped it was his cheek rather than his tongue he’d bitten. It has been one hell of a kick.

 

Two pairs of hands helped him to his feet but he waved them away feeling better enough to grasp what was going on and stand independently. Across the mat was Genji head down glaring furiously at the floor as Reyes shouted at him gesturing violently in Jesse’s direction. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but the cyborg’s eyes seemed to be glistening, like he was holding back tears.

 

**Guilt**

 

Even though it had been Genji who had started the fight Jesse felt guilty. It was hard not to feel bad as Reyes shouted down the smaller man. The cyborg didn’t even fight back, didn’t show that usual scrappy anger he did with Jesse.

 

“I want you to take him to the infirmary and stay there ‘til he’s better. You hear me?” Genji nods not making eye contact. Reyes is seeing something Jesse isn’t because there’s no way any other agent would get away with not looking at him whilst he was speaking to them.  “I expect you at my office O 900 hours tomorrow for a disciplinary.” The commander orders before giving Genji a shove in Jesse’s direction. “ Pinche imbécil.”

 

Genji finally lifts his gaze, this time to meet Jesse’s. There’s no longer that same anger. Jesse doesn’t know what it is, but he knows he prefers the anger. He doesn’t like this look.

 

The pair leave the gym together, Genji surprisingly taking Jesse’s arm even though he doesn’t need the help to walk. They walk in silence. The infirmary is one of the few places Genji knows the route to well so directions are mot needed. In fact he seems to know a faster route than Jesse does as he leads them round the back of the higher up’s barracks.

 

The taste of blood is fading in Jesse’s mouth.

 

“Why do you hate me?” The words pass through Jesse’s mental filter before he can stop them. He wants to blame his possible concussion but he knows the words are all his. The arm in his goes stiff, it’s Genji’s right arm, the flesh one, so he knows it’s not a malfunction.

 

“I don’t hate you.” Genji huffs out letting go of his arm to walk ahead.

 

“Then why do you act so hostile to me all the time.” Jesse asks as they round a corner and into a shortcut. It’s a grassy patch surrounded by bushes, probably not intended to be a foot path but countless journeys of lazy soldiers have worn enough of a way through to justify it was one.  

 

Genji stops midway through, his back to Jesse. He’s twitching his fingers again, reaching back for the missing item.

 

“Because… because you remind me of what I’ve lost.” Genji’s voice is steady but quiet, strangely sounding more human than it ever has. “ You had nothing. Came from nothing and yet now you have people that love you and a body and talent.”

 

Jesse doesn’t dare speak.

 

“I was given everything from the moment I was born, yet I have nothing.” The twitching fingers clench into a fist and Genji’s words strengthen as he continues. “ I see you smile and joke and it angers me as I was once that but now all I can feel is rage and it’s blinding. So blinding. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

 

Jesse feels his own hand raise, just the smallest of a fraction as he fights the urge to reach out to the other man.

 

“They were always the one to deal with that.” The comment is small, quiet and cryptic but it means everything to Jesse. _He knows what it means. He’ll never forget what it means._

  
  
“You lost your soulmate?” Jesse asks his own voice croaky. A droplet rolls off the end of his chin but it’s not from the split in his lip.

 

“Yes.”

 

\- ♥ - -      - -♥ -

 

“I lost mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: It hasn't been that long since I updated this fic why are people worried. 
> 
> Fic: It's been 3 almost 4 months since you updated me
> 
> Me: FUCK
> 
> \------
> 
> Hey so sorry about that. But ty to the last two comments on my last chapter that, in a good way, Guilted me into writing the next chapter. Sorry it took so long. I may have accidentally started writing a Western AU.


	4. Fibroblasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirts, Partys, and bunk beds.

Pressure, soft but pertectual. The feeling of skin on skin and the weight of another body against your own. Vivid yet fantastical. The thoughts of touching someone else had started to seep into Jesse’s mind six days after he moved into his new bunk. Persistent they had yet to relent three weeks later.  The young agent couldn’t work out whether the desire had been triggered by the move or if it was more coincidental; his body finally expressing how touch starved he was.

 

It wasn’t even like the desire was sexual. Yes, he was horny, but he could subdue those feelings. Take a cold shower or beat one out in the middle of the night. The need to be touched however… That was different. You can’t fake a hug.

 

Times like this this, when he felt so distant from everyone around him, Jesse’s mind went to Sparrow. To drifting endlessly round the questions that would forever remain unanswered.

 

_Was he a big or little spoon? Did he like to cuddle in the mornings? At night? Maybe both. Where was he ticklish? What did his voice sound like? How did he laugh? Would he love Jesse?_

_Ultimately Jesse knew he would never stop wanting to know what the boy in his head had been like._

 

 

 

“Your alarm is going off.” Genji’s comment drew Jesse from his thoughts and he rolled over in his bunk grabbing blindly for his phone plugged in on the floor.

 

 It was mid-afternoon on one of the few days Blackwatch had off. Like usual, Jesse had spent most of his day in his bunk sleeping and doing other non-productive ventures. Guilt and unease sat heavy in his chest like a lead bullet. He didn’t like laying about, but he couldn’t find the motivation to go further than the cafeteria and Genji (apart from leaving to pick up his daily medication) had done much the same. It was hard to feel guilty when the nearest guy to you was doing much the same.

 

Tension resolved, the cyborg’s silent company had become an odd comfort to Jesse in the recent weeks. Although he would use the term friend loosely when describing their relationship, he did find spending time with Genji easier than anyone else. Even Reyes, which was surprising considering their rocky start.

 

“EVENT REMINDER- Rocket Gremlin’s Grad party.”

 

Jesse switched off the alarm sighing. Resting face down on the bed for a moment, he mulled over the consequences of not attending: Exactly how many limbs would Captain Amari break tomorrow?

 

Don’t get Jesse wrong, He was excited to see Fareeha again and super pumped about her getting into college but he wasn’t sure he had the mental or physical capacity to deal with such a large group of people… and the eventual questions they would pose. The ‘how are you holding up?’s and ‘What’s new McCree?’s. There was no doubt everyone in attendance would know what had happened. Overwatch was one big family which most of the time was comforting but it also meant gossip spread fast. Each agent as nosey as any Abuela.

“Alarm.” Genji called again from his bunk, a split second before Jesse himself realised he’d hit snooze.  Dragging himself up the cowboy finally dedicated himself to getting up and ready for the party. He switched off the alarm and went to the en suite they shared. The mirror showed something marginally acceptable. A comb, some dry shampoo, maybe a tooth brush and Jesse would be passable, or as passable as a cowboy on a internationally owned swiss army base can get. He assumed the dress code wasn’t black tie.

 

Cleaning himself proved the easy part as Jesse looked through his wardrobe for something to wear. He knew he should of ironed something. Most of his button ups were in the hamper and the remaining few were creased, something Captain Amari was bound to comment on. His favorite red check shirt was clean but he’d worn it to the last party. The only other option was a similarly checked green flannel. Which he was hesitant to pick due to how tight it had gotten around his middle as of recent.

 

“Which do you think? Red or Green?” He asks showing his selection to Genji who had been side eying him from the top bunk not all that subtly. Jesse doesn’t mind, He’s not shy about his body, well maybe the dark layer of hair that seemed to be spreading further than his chest nowdays. The ninja’s eyes flick between the two articles critically.

 

“I don’t know.” He growls back eventually before looking away and hunching further over the phone in his hands. 

 

_Helpful as ever._

 

“Come on help me out here.” Jesse huffs stepping forward to show Genji the shirts better, his head finding the mattress by the cyborg’s knees to lean against and draw the other man’s gaze again.

 

Genji glares at him more forcefully before sitting up and snatching the shirts out of his hands. He holds the flannels out in front of him before tossing Jesse’s favourite at him.

 

“Red.” Genji states the green still in his flesh hand, his fingertips thumbing the soft material. “Matches your hat better.” The stupid before the hat is implied and Jesse feels his first genuine chuckle since losing sparrow rumble in his throat.

 

“Hey…Do you want to come to a party?”

 

\- ♥ - -      - -♥ -

 

It takes some convincing to get him to come to the party but eventually Genji relents with the promise of Angela’s presence and the condition that they both leave the second the cyborg isn’t feeling it. Getting him something to wear however was the real challenge. Seems half the reason the kid ran around basically naked was because Overwatch hadn’t issued him anything other than the standard Blackwatch hoodie and slacks. Not a wholly unfashionable ensemble but it’s pretty telling. If you see someone day in day out in the same uniform, you’re probably start to guess they don’t have anything else. The kind of pity that raises out of people, well, it’s not all that palatable.

 

So better be naked if you can… people will think the no clothes thing is a choice rather than an obligation.

 

But it’s all speculation… for all Jesse knows Genji could be an exhibitionist.

 

But then again, the ninja did agree to wear clothes to the party- even if it seemed he had certain standard when it came to fashion; turning his nose up at pretty much all the clothes Jesse had offered him. Which Jesse got, the cowboy was bigger than him so most of the clothes didn’t fit right but some stuff had looked okay, Made Genji look pretty good actually, but apparently Jesse’s t-shirts weren’t up to par.

 

In the end they settled on the green flannel shirt from before. Genji thumbing the material softly as he scrutinised himself in the mirror. There were creases round the boy’s eyes and nose, minute but noticeable to someone as used to Genji’s face as Jesse. The cowboy catches the other man’s eye in the reflection and offers a weak smile. Genji makes no response but doesn’t complain about the clothes offered him after.

 

“I’m gunna get us-me- a drink… Wait here.” Jesse says clapping a hand on Genji’s back. They’d been hiding in a corner since walking into the party. If Jesse’s honest he’s not sure if it was for his or Genji’s benefit; they’d both been as stiff as a board since crossing the threshold. To say the party was overwhelming would be an understatement.

 

There’s a small crowd of Overwatch personal in the attendance, each in the middle of a variety of party activities. The number of guests is a fine balance, few enough people to feel intimate whilst offering enough human fodder for a person to avoid someone they don’t like. Jesse wouldn’t expect any less from Captain Amari. She’s a smart woman. There are agents here from all departments, Medical, air force, Black watch- to name a few. Jesse recognises most of the crowd even if he can’t put names to faces. He’s not sure if that’s better? Would have he preferred it to be strangers?

 

  _It’s all strangers for Genji._ A voice tells him, which sets another heavy feeling in his stomach. He resolutes not to take too long. If he lingers he’s sure the ninja is likely to bolt like an ally cat.

 

Determined Jesse tries his best to catch no one’s eye. Head down he removes his hat, apologies slipping from his lips hushedly as he eases past party guests to the buffet. When he finally makes it there his stomach has acquired yet another tense feeling. Too queasy he bypasses the food and pours himself a large paper cup of what guesses to be punch. Part of him hopes it’s been spiked but all he can taste is sugar as he downs the drink. It’d be wishful thinking for Jesse to expect liquor at the Captain’s underaged daughter’s party. Not that Fareeha’s a stranger to alcohol… a younger- stupider- Jesse had seen to that.

 

“Hey, Dust bunny. Better slow down, you don’t want to get sugar drunk.” A voice calls as he pours himself a second glass. When he turns his mouth pulls into a broad smile.  

 

In front of him is Fareeha Amari. Dolled up in a sleek blue ensemble, she’s nothing less than stunning. She hasn’t changed much since he last saw her, but he can’t help but drag up memories of the feisty teen he’d met nearing five years ago. The comparison is incredible.

 

“Well I’ll be damned; don’t you scrub up nice.” Jesse purrs placing his drink to one side to pull her into a hug. She laughs and squeezes him back. Her hug is firm, embracing, the kind a person reserves for only those dear to them. It warms Jesse’s heart, working loose a few of the knots lodged in his stomach.

 

“I’ve always scrubbed up nice.” She punches his arm gently as they part, Her smile infectious.

 

“Of course, of course.” He replies fishing his drink up to take a sip. The pause between them is nice and it reminds Jesse why he came to the party.  For the ‘rocket gremlin’ who’d helped him make a home out the scraps he’d been offered. “So… College.”

 

The question is loaded and predictable, maybe a tad lame but he’s not sure how to breech the subject. Jesse never went himself, never was even given the choice, as nice as it would have been, so it’s all foreign. He doesn’t have wise words, like half the people in the room do, for her. Maybe in a few months when she hits 21 he can pass on some of his hard-won knowledge in the liquor orientated elements of college but until then he’s as new to the study stuff as she is.

 

“Yeah College…” She doesn’t sound as excited as he expected, and the tone continues as she does. “It’s a good college, in Canada near Dad and they have a great basketball team. I can keep playing and the campus is nothing short of amazing.”

 

Jesse quirks a brow taking a long sip as she talks.

 

“But?” he finally prompts when she doesn’t continue.

 

“But… College wasn’t really my plan.” She admits and Jesse knows it to be true. Fareeha has been adamant on doing one thing since Jesse first met her and one thing alone. She wanted to join Overwatch. Fight alongside her mother and the heroes she grew up around, a path that had been encouraged until the last few years. It seems the closer the kid got to her goal the realer those goals became and the scary possible consequences of them. Consequences her guardians had taken note of.

 

“What happened on the application?” Jesse asked watching as his friend crossed her arms brows creasing. He didn’t need to clarify which application, she’d been prefilling the forms since she was seventeen.

 

“It didn’t even go through. Rejected before even an interview.” The words come out bland and bitter. It’s not a tone that suits her but is one that reminds Jesse strongly of her mother. “ Same with Egyptian army. Seems my mother has influences that extend further than I expected.”

 

Jesse’s nose scrunches in displeasure. He didn’t blame Captain Amari for trying to stop her daughter from joining the military. It’s a dangerous occupation. One filled with as much loss and suffering as it alleviated in others, but the action still made Jesse feel uneasy. Fareeha was an adult. She could make her own decisions about her future. Its strong argument without considering the circumstances of her upbringing. It’s almost cruel to force her out of this path, the one that had been promised to her for so long. Captain Amari raised Fareeha with an ingrained sense of justice; One that impelled her to protect others and do good in the world. It couldn’t and wouldn’t be ironed out. As far as Fareeha was concerned the only way to good in this world was for her to fight for it.

 

Jesse next words are cautious, he can tell that wrong words here will sour their relationship some but if he agrees with her too strongly he’s likely to add to her rage. Help it stew in an unhealthy way. “Maybe she just wants you to get a degree first. Not such a bad idea…” He takes a lazy sip of his drink before continuing. “Heard them fancy hats you get after are pretty pointy. Could turn it into a throwing star.” She stares at him for a second.

 

“You’re so stupid sometimes.” The punch he gets is harder than the last, but it elicits a rumbling chuckle. She pours her own drink and leans against the table. “It can’t be helped I suppose, I’m going either way and your right: there’s always after.”

 

They both drink for a while enjoying their twin punches and the peaked chatter of the people around them.

 

“So, What’s new with you?” Fareeha asks. It’s not stiff. He knows she knows about what happened. He didn’t tell her himself, but he doubts the Captain would have left her out of the loop but somehow, it’s not awkward with her. She doesn’t expect anything from him and he doesn’t get that sense of pity that bleeds off everyone else. It’s just her asking, it’s just Fareeha.

 

“Not much.” He lies hiding whatever expression his face has decided to pull in yet another sip of his drink. There’s a moment of pause, one where in the corner of his eye Jesse can see her closely guarded concern, so he continues. “I got a new roommate... Which reminds me, I should probably get back to him.”

 

Jesse tries to come off as if he’s not trying to escape her company. Which is true. He’s not, he just genuinely feels he shouldn’t leave Genji too long. Genuinely, he’s not running from anything. Fareeha is polite enough to hide her hurt, although her hand reaches out to hook her arm in his.

 

“Well if you brought a plus one to my specifically ‘no plus ones’ party I want to meet him.” Fareeha huffs in response, jostling her arm to secure the hook she has on the man.

 

**Fear**

 

The cowboy hesitates free hand on his hat as he looks at Fareeha. A strange sense of defensiveness overcomes him. He recognises it as irrational but still his chest compels him to protect the cyborg. He knows Fareeha won’t judge Genji for…well being him but he still feels knots reforming in his stomach.

 

_It’s Fareeha, she’s not going to say anything. She’s grown up around prosthetics and Dr Zeigler’s work._

When they finally manage to push past the crowd and party guests vying for Fareeha’s attention they find Genji with company. The ninja stands stock still body tense like he’s about to start a sparring match. He looks very much like a cat cornered by a dog. Which wouldn’t have been such an amusing scene if his ‘opponent’ wasn’t a five-foot preteen.

 

“Hi, I’m Brigitte.” The young girl chirps, arm stuck straight out, eyes bright. Her smile is wide, and metal studded. Her hand returns to her side with a bounce when the gesture isn’t returned. “Can I look at your cybernetics?”

 

Jesse’s moves to intercept the interaction, his heart thundering into a fast pace. He’s got to shield Genji. Brigitte is well meaning but she’s asking about subjects she has no idea about. The hold on his arm tightens and he makes it only a step. Fareeha meets his eyes as he glances back. Her gaze is steady, filled with a meaning that Jesse can’t place but she has her mother’s eyes. He may not understand what she’s telling him, but he trusts her and so halts. His eye flitter back to the confrontation in front of him, muscles itching with worry.

 

“Sorry, that was impolite.” Brigitte continues, she bobs her head shyly. Hand coming to fiddle with her pony tail. “I’m just very interested. My Papa’s an engineer… and I guess I am too. I’ve studied a tonne about cybernetics but all the ones I’ve seen in person are pretty outdated and none use a carbon fibre blend like yours or the P13 hydraulics model.”

 

The tension in Genji’s shoulders relaxes a little. He doesn’t return the familiarity quite yet, eyes still taking in the small person in front of him. It’s an intimidating site. Crimsons eyes shining bright in the shadow of a hood. Brigitte doesn’t baulk for a second, her smile just as large and eyes just as warm. She’s a brave little girl.

 

“Genji.” The cyborg finally speaks. The child perks at his voice and Jesse can practically feel the excitement radiating off her. He relaxes as the ninja allows the girl to take his hand. It’s an odd site.  

 

Fareeha squeezes his arm and Jesse lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. After a beat she leaves his side, stooping a little to draw the girl into a hug when she reaches the pair. Jesse watches from a distance tensing when Genji looks panicked by the new appearance but it soon eases as Genji catches site of him. The cyborg’s face softens, reassured by his reappearance and in turn it quells the unease boiling in the cowboy’s own stomach.

 

The party turns out to be pretty pleasant. They stick to their shady corner, Jesse only occasionally venturing out to grab the group new drinks and snacks. The adults don’t speak often, Jesse least of all, and instead allow the silence to be filled by Brigitte’s eager chatter. She speaks of mechanical things she’s built and studied, her anecdotes only interrupted to express how cute the many cats her family keeps are. Eventually Fareeha is forced to leave their small gathering, called away by social obligation and the sharp eye of her mother. It falls to Jesse to fill in the other side of the conversation with the girl, although surprisingly Genji offers a few comments.

 

It takes longer but Brigitte is similarly dragged away. This time by the gruff tone of familiar voice. It turns out Lindholm is her father which Jesse should have guessed. No ordinary child could talk with such depth about engineering. She’s every bit as bright as her father. The man offers McCree a nod when they leave, and Jesse returns it with a tip of his hat. He’s glad their comradery hadn’t died in their time apart.

 

When it’s just the two of them, Jesse and Genji slump to the floor without a word. Genji crossed legged as usual, Jesse with his legs splayed out to avoid them going numb. They sit in easy silence, enjoying the soft thud of the pop music playing in the background, their eyes drifting over the crowd. Jesse spots Reyes across the hall. He looks happy, his head thrown back in a laugh that Jesse doesn’t catch from this distance. As the wall of people jostles the source of the amusement comes into view and he spots Morrison by his side. The corner of Jesse’s mouth twitches upwards bittersweetly as he takes in the look of adoration the Strike commander gives Jesse’s boss.

 

Genji shifts beside him and Jesse thinks for a second maybe his eyes had caught the exchange too, but the cyborg just speaks. “ Thank you for inviting me.”

 

“Any time.”

 

\- ♥ - -      - -♥ -

 

 

 

“Jesse?”

 

McCree opens his eye a crack unsure if his ears are playing tricks. He’d sworn he’d heard his name, spoken softly, barely louder than a whisper as if the caller hadn’t been sure they wanted to speak. Jesse’s mostly sure he is hearing things. The only other person in the room is Genji and he’d fallen asleep some hours ago. So, He waits in silence for a few beats contemplating whether he should try going back to sleep. In the bunk above Genji shifts, the movement more than a sleepy fidget. Jesse starts to feel more certain the cyborg had called his name.

 

It would be a first. The other man had never expressed interest in doing anything but resting in the bunks. In fact their first few nights had been spent in cold silence, McCree’s usual night-time babble suppressed as his body readjusted to training and he lost the energy to joke around. Needless to say, the ninja’s sudden interest in talking was an oddity, one that pleasantly surprised the cowboy. He ponders if the interactions at the party earlier that evening had triggered it.

 

“Yeah?.” He replies, voice a hushed tone, still a sliver unsure he’s being spoken to. Jesse hopes his voice can be dismissed as easily as the first man’s in case he judged the situation wrong.

 

There’s a short pause, long enough for the agent’s chest to clench with doubt but Genji does eventually speak, the words more clear.

 

“How long ago did you lose your Soul mate?” The cyborg asks his tone not unkind. There’s none of the usual tenseness in his voice.

 

Still, Jesse’s breath is knocked out of him and his head goes fuzzy for a few seconds. The numb sensation he’s gotten used to over the past year creeps through his body, pooling in his chest like a trapped nerve.

 

He contemplates not replying. He knows the other man won’t push. Genji will let him leave the question unanswered. They’ll both fall all into an uneasy sleep and wake up the next morning like no one had said anything. But then Genji might never wake him again. Might never pry into Jesse’s life.

 

This is Jesse’s one and only chance to connect with Genji. As ill-timed as it is.

 

“Seven months of so.” Jesse is surprised at how strong his voice sounds, even if it is just a facade.

 

Genji doesn’t speak and Jesse thinks maybe the cyborg has fallen asleep but It’s only few heartbeats longer before his metallic voice whispers through the darkness.

 

“ I don’t know when mine stopped.” His tone is heartbreakingly empty, neutral, like he’s reporting statistics and not something so personal. “ I just woke up and he was gone. “

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“What was the tipping point for him?... was it the face, the limbs, the torso... or was it the moment I could no longer consider myself human.” Jesse’s throat felt tight. What was he supposed to say to that? How was he supposed to justify someone leaving this boy when he was so lost? Jesse would give anything to get sparrow back, no matter how broken.

 

“You’re still human.” Jesse’s voice sounds so small. So stupidly small but he believes his words, he truly does. Only he lacks the strength to say them earnestly. Jesse knows Genji won’t believe him. The other man is so wrapped up in the grief of losing so many important parts of himself that he won’t believe anything kind said to him. He doesn’t feel deserving of such kindness.

 

Plus there’s a part of Jesse, the bitter, vile part that doesn’t pity him. The voice in the back of his head that reminds him that he’s lost his soul mate too. That sparrow was taken from him just the same and he’s still standing, barely, but he’s on his feet none the less. It’s a part that causes the bile rise in the back of his throat . Jesse does his best to suppress it.

 

He won’t think like that. It’s not who he is. It’s not who they were.

 

“I was so excited to meet them.” Genji continues as Jesse drags himself from the dark thoughts. It’s a comment he can empathise with. He knows the feeling all too well.

 

“They weren’t always the happiest. So I tried my best to stay happy... to have fun no matter the cost as I wanted them to feel happy too. “ Genji explained, his voice turning bitter as he continues. “I suppose in the end that was not the right choice. “

 

Jesse let’s the conversation hang not sure what to say. What could he say?

 

The bed rocks a little and there’s a gentle thud as Genji jumps down from his bunk. Jesse sits up on his elbows expectantly. It’s past curfew; Genji’s barred from walking anywhere but the bathroom. Although Jesse supposed that wouldn’t stop the cyborg, he doesn’t think anything could stop Genji if he put his mind to it.

 

Surprisingly The other man makes no move to leave instead he stands to one side of the bunk eyeing Jesse cryptically. The cowboy feels nervous .

 

“ I’d heard somewhere that sex with your soulmate is like nothing else.” The only light in the room comes from Genji himself, the circular hub in his chest casting dramatic but soft shadows across his face and torso.  Despite the light it’s hard for McCree to determine the other man’s expression. “Something about the connection means you both feel what the other is feeling. A feed back loop that results in the most mind blowing sex. “

 

Jesse’s heart jumps a little. Pulse Stuttering into fast rhythm as the mattress at his feet dips and Genji climbs into his bunk. Instinctively he raises his legs, knees bending and spreading apart so the cyborg sits between them. Guilt bubbles in Jesse’s stomach as he feels a tense warmth pool in his groin.

 

“ I never knew when I’d meet my soul mate so I thought I would learn what I could before I met them. Practice so that our first time together would be beyond mind blowing.” Genji purrs and the warmth increases. Jesse can feel him now, how close he is. Barely separate. Jesse’s only line of defence a very thin layer of air. He wants to close the distance, to wrap his legs around the other man and pull him close but he doesn’t. It isn’t his place to initiate this. This is Genji’s game and Jesse has to play by his rules.

 

“Yeah, I heard something about that.” He replies his usual charm falling away under the presence of the other man between his legs. Jesse’s hips twitch minutely. It doesn’t go unnoticed.

 

He shouldn’t be doing this. He really shouldn’t. Genji isn’t thinking straight and neither is he for that matter. All of this is just two desperate men reaching for the nearest warm body and the only other body who knows what it’s like. How it is to be alone in your own head. Yet... somehow Jesse can’t bring himself to care. Who’s he going to hurt? The only other man he could be betraying is sparrow but he’s dead and it never stopped Jesse in the past anyway. So he’s going to let himself have this, let himself feel loved and wanted for the briefest of moments before he has to return to reality and remember how broken and fucked his life is.

 

“ My reputation proceeds me.” Genji chuckles the sound clearer Less muffled than normal. It’s not a happy laugh, Melancholic, Jesse almost calls everything off but Genji’s hands are on his thighs now. Fingers light his thumbs trace circles on the flesh just above Jesse’s knees and it’s so hard to think about stopping when the minute touch feels so good. The bed shifts and the cowboy feels lips against his skin. Tender and damp Genji plants kiss on the inside of his thigh a hair whisp below the leg of his boxers. The gunslinger doesn’t move a muscle.

 

There’s the slightest hint of tongue... or teeth. Jesse’s not sure, but the touch sends thrills up his spine. The kiss returns, wet lips sucking slightly on Jesse’s tanned skin.  His heart is thundering so loud in his ears it’s drowning out any logical thought. All he can focus on is the slight glow of Genji’s irises, a thin ring around his blown wide pupils and how he slowly moves his kisses upwards until he’s mouthing at Jesse’s clothed erection. A gasp and partially restrained moan escape Jesse’s lips. Small but noticeable in the silence of the night. He’s sure his knuckles are white with how hard he’s gripping the sheets. Genji gives a pleased noise in response, his mouth stilling for the moment as his fingertips slip under the hem of Jesse’s waist band.

 

“Enjoying your self cowboy?” He asks with faux innocence, pulling gently on the elastic in his hands. Jesse hisses as the other man edges the material down, grazing the head of Jesse’s cock before purposely dragging the hem down his shaft.

 

“Don’t tease.” He’s not proud of how needy the words come out but Genji seems pleased, at least enough to relent his abuse and pull the boxers down to Jesse’s thighs as the cowboy lifts his ass to help.

 

“This isn’t teasing McCree.” Genji purrs and Jesse feels the cyborgs breath but millimetres from his cock. The tiniest of twitches and his dick would be on the other man’s lips. “This is teasing.”

 

Expertly Genji licks a stripe from the base of Jesse’s shaft to just below the head. A simple flick but it sends thrills up Jesse’s spine. The urge to buck his hips is immense but Jesse resists. He doesn’t want Genji to think he’s inexperienced. Jesse may not be as practiced as the other man but he’s had his fair amount of tussles in the hay. Still the way Genji continues to ghost his cock is infuriating. Finger light touches and kitten kisses placed in just the right spots to work him up but not actually provide enough friction to satisfy his need.

 

“Okay, I get it your good just...” Jesse growls, staring at Genji frustratedly. Eyes having adjusted to the dark he can just about make out the soft shadows of the lower half of the other man’s face. The skin is a good few shades darker than the rest but it’s not the colour that draw’s Jesse’s attention. It’s more how the cyborg hovers over his dick, lips parted, just a few beats from taking Jesse in his mouth.

 

“Just what? McCree.” Genji purrs tilting his head to watch Jesse as he licks a drop of Precum from his slit. He carries the motion down to Jesse’s balls and Jesse whines again.  Eye contact broken Jesse near god damn yelps as he feels the other man suck gently on his balls.

 

It’s a new feeling but he’ll be damned if it’s not euphoric. His hips stutter, thrusting into the air and Genji’s face, looking for more friction. A hand slides to his hip stilling him as Genji’s grasps his shaft and pumps it Idly in time with the motions of his mouth, which are becoming more varied now: switching from one ball to the other. Throwing his head back Jesse just pants for a moment, a few mumbles of pleasure slipping through his laboured breathing. _It really had been too long._

 

“Fuck, Honeybun that feels so good.”

 

The assault on his balls stops and Jesse restrains his whine at the loss. Genji’s smirking again watching Jesse through half lidded eyes. He wants to reach out and touch him so bad. To cup his face... maybe even kiss him but he lets the moment pass. Cowardice and uncertainty reining the urge in. This wasn’t about that kind of thing, as much as he craved it.

 

Genji stops teasing and gets down to business his lips gliding over Jesse’s head as he finally takes him into his mouth. It’s warm and so unbelievably good that Jesse nearly blows his load there. As talented as he is Genji predicts the reaction and pinches the base of his cock, giving Jesse a warning glare. He didn’t want this to end too soon as much as Jesse didn’t.

 

Sluggish and wet Genji nurses gently on Jesse’s shaft waiting for him to calm down before he continues. The cowboy tries his best, holding back the insistent pressure that’s boiling in his stomach but it’s damn hard with the look Genji is giving him. The need dampens over time and soon Genji is working his shaft again. He looks in his element like this. Like he was rebuilt for this purpose alone. Jesse really wants to see Genji with his cock in his mouth again and definitely with better lighting.

 

“Fuck... yes.. that’s it.” Jesse encourages as Genji picks up his pace, cheeks hollowing as he sucks. The other man is multitasking. His tongue pulsing down the shaft as his hand pumps Jesse’s length with a wet palm. 

 

Jesse only cums when he’s permitted. When Genji has forced the head of the gunslinger’s cock into his throat and his fingers have found his balls once more, thumbing them softly. The build up goes on longer than Jesse had thought. The cyborg taking His cock in his throat so long there’s a hiss and a click and Jesse realises something in the other man’s cybernetics has opened up. A channel that allows him breath.

 

The thought that Genji would rather keep sucking him off than breath is the tipping point for Jesse. He climaxes explosively, unable to stop himself from curling round Genji’s head, his hand in the cyborg’s hair as he finishes straight down his throat.

 

“Fucking hell.” Jesse pants loosening his grip on the other man and flopping back on to his elbows. Genji is a beautiful mess as he pulls up, wiping his face with the back of his hand as he does so. There’s not a speck of cum on his face and Jesse’s dick gives a weak twitch. He really did swallow his whole load.

 

Jesse’s panting and tired but he finds the energy to get up.

 

“Let me return the favour, Honeybun.” He coos leaning forward to cup the other man’s face but Genji pulls back out of reach with almost animal like speed. The cowboy’s hand lowers as his expression turns to one of concern.

 

“No.” The cyborg has found his faceplate and is already clipping it back into place. Jesse feels a little sick.

 

“ I don’t want to leave you hanging.” He crushes the urge to reach out for the other man. It’s so apparent how separate they are. Genji fully clothed, Jesse a half-naked mess. It’s almost as if nothing happened. That they hadn’t just shared an intimate moment.

 

Genji doesn’t reply as he exits the bed and climbs back into his bunk. Jesse stares at the pitch blackness of the room, Genji, the only source of light gone. The cyborg was mere feet away but for all Jesse knew they could be on opposite sides of the world.

 

Jesse feels more alone than he has in six months, twenty three days and six hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -
> 
> Me writing McGenji: But what if Jesse interacted with everyone but Genji. 
> 
> -
> 
> Hey, thanks for reading. Hope you liekd it and thanks for sticking with me. 
> 
> Hoping to get updates more regular? or maybe at least not as spread out but I'm as consitent a writer as grammer in this fic. 
> 
> Let us know what you like about the fic and what you hope our boys will get up to next.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, Sorry this Chapter is so short the other ones in the future should be longer or I'll hopefully post two at a time. Either way buckle in for some angst. I don't know how long this fic will be but I'm aiming for 4/5 chapters? So not a long one.


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